Picking out the perfect engagement ring can be tough. I get it. I picked out my own engagement ring, and it still took me months to decide on exactly what I wanted to wear as a symbol of my relationship for the rest of my life. So if your partner wants their engagement ring to be a surprise, I’d understand if you’re feeling a lot of pressure to get it right.
Here’s the good news: Hera is here to help! This guide will walk you through the questions you should consider when you’re picking out a surprise engagement ring for your partner. We can also help you brainstorm during a complimentary virtual consultation.
Getting Started
Start off by thinking about your partner’s taste, including their existing jewelry and any conversations you may have had about a future engagement ring. You probably have a more intuitive sense of their style than you realize - you’re getting married, after all, so you know each other well!
Let’s get started. Here are some of the major decision points:
- Design style - there are a lot of options here! Think about your partner's personal style and what they typically like in jewelry. Some design styles we work with often are: classic and elegant; vintage inspired; chunky and bold; or something sleek and modern.
- Setting height - do they want the ring to sit as low (and be as comfortable) as possible, or would they rather make sure that the engagement ring will stack flush with an eventual wedding band?
- Setting style - this refers to how the center stone of the ring is held in place. Your choices here are between prong and bezel setting. Bezel settings are the most secure, but many people prefer the more delicate look of prong settings. (I'm a bezel set girl myself, all the way!)
- Setting silhouette - what we mean by this is how many stones are on the ring, and in what kind of style: solitaire, accented, or multi-stone.
- Stone material and size - is your partner looking for a diamond, moissanite, sapphire, or another stone? Do they want something dainty, something large with a lot of presence, or somewhere in between?
- Metal choice - you can choose 14 or 18K yellow, rose or white gold; or platinum.
If you aren’t quite sure, reach out to your partner’s family and friends for direction. In our experience, our clients usually talk to their mom or their best friend, for instance, about what kind of engagement ring they’d like. If your partner has Instagram or Pinterest, check there as well - they might have posted some inspiration photos or commented on others’ engagement ring posts.
Refining Ideas
Next up, let’s get practical. Does your partner have any lifestyle constraints we should think about? Here are some common ones:
- Wears gloves at work
- Works with their hands
- A little clumsy
- Doesn't wear a lot of jewelry, and really wants the ring to be comfortable
Sneaking the Ring Size
Last but not least is ring size, which can be tricky to get without blowing your cover. If you can, casually suggest you stop into a jewelry store when you're walking around, "just in case." If you can't get an accurate ring size, the most reliable estimate will be if they have other rings they wear on their left ring finger, but any ring will do - just note which finger and hand they wear them on, and we can help you estimate.
Always err on the side of ordering larger rather than smaller - rings are easier to size down than up, and it's better for the ring to be too big when you propose rather than too small, so they can still wear it. You can bring a temporary size adjuster with you when you propose, in case it's too large.
Still not Sure?
If you still aren’t sure about your choice, don’t worry! We can help you figure it out during a consultation.
